Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas: A Link to Iowahawk's Latest

I have three excerpts below. Go to the original to read the transcript of Alan Grayson's interview when he applied for the job of playing Donald Duck at Disney World.

Psychological studies tell us a lost re-election campaign is the single most stressful event in the life of a congressional incumbent, even topping the indictment of a campaign contributor or an appearance at an unscripted town hall meeting. 
The road to your new non-Washington career begins with an inventory of your personal strengths and competencies. Read the critical skill list below, and circle the ones that you possess.
Telling other people what to do
Demanding money
Peddling influence
Talking loudly over others
Condescension / arrogance
Threatening, browbeating, arguing
Evading responsibility
Spin control
As a former Washington professional, you probably circled four or more of the above. Yes, there are some private sector industries where these skills are valued - such as journalism, bill collection, professional wrestling, higher education, and carnival barking. Unfortunately, these are all declining industries with low wages and/or fierce job competition. In order to maintain your standard of living, you will probably have to seek employment in other industries where you will find surprisingly little demand for your skills.

Step 2: Familiarize Yourself With Your New Industry
In order to land that good job back in your home district, you first need to understand the ins and outs of the non-Washington economic system. Unlike Washington's easy-to-understand system of leveraging raw unbridled rulemaking and police power to extract tribute from fearful and/or favor-seeking constituents, non-Washington industries are largely based on the production of "goods" or "services." It sounds complicated, but the basic idea boils down to making things or doing thingsthat other people will pay for. The complicated part is to remember that they must pay for themvoluntarily.
I removed my Congressional experience from my resume. How do I explain the 28-year gap?
Claim you were in prison.

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