Thursday, November 20, 2008

My Latest Stupid Idea

I doubt that you need me to tell you that congress lacks imagination and courage. Few Americans will need any help from me despising and disrespecting Congress.
So here’s my stupid idea. At present, Congress is giving hundreds of billions of dollars to most any company that asks. This is great because everyone enjoys people with money and power making fools of themselves on a large scale right out in public and everything. I think Jon Stewart might thus define the essence of humor. But Congress is passing up a chance to give us even more laughs for our billions. Congress needs to start bailing out future fuck ups (fuck ups who won’t find their way into Congress). For example, there’s an eight year old little girl next door. Her father has a small, successful business. And little Heather is very capable of growing up and running a giant corporation into the ground. Congress should take Couric, Ross, Lauer, Blitzer and a bunch of cameras and give Heather forty or fifty billion. It would be absurdly funny. That wonderful kind of funny that ensues when you have no control over a situation and you have to try to find it amusing to keep from becoming violent or succumbing to paralyzing depression. Add to this the satisfying sense of moral and intellectual superiority that will be enjoyed by everyone not in Congress or the media. A scene like this would provide plenty of fodder for both Republicans and Democrats to glow with self-satisfaction. Congress is going to throw the money away without regard to public opinion or the good of the Republic anyway. We might as well get something out of it.
But here is the sad part. They will not give Heather any money because Heather has never given them any. Congress is going to give trillions away but only to people and corporations that have already given bribes to members of Congress. They call these bribes campaign contributions and they have made it legal for you to bribe them. But a bribe is a bribe. And the bribes are what activate the bail outs.
My advise to America is to not become violent or depressed. Look upon the present Congress as an endless source of laughter. But go easy on the moral and intellectual superiority lest it sap energy that might better be mobilized to throw every last one of those thieving, bribe taking clowns out of office.

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