Saturday, March 7, 2009

Obama Represents Hope

Obama represents hope (and that much time in Chicago politics with no indictments is at least cause for amazement).
Also, he's against killing kittens or sending decent children to public schools.
He has taken the principled stand that Americans must make sacrifices, if only so that our Glorious Leader’s children can have their $3500 swing set.
Barack is really, really against bad things.
He wants library books returned on time.
In his boundless wisdom he has earmarked (and cursed be nonObama approved earmarks) three hundred million for R & D on a space age teleprompter.
He is damned tired of too much being spent on health care for seniors and from the unlimited kindness of his heart he is creating a national board to ration care to seniors (serves them right for voting against him).
He stays awake late into the night to cleverly conceive (in sly, calculating Harvard lawyer fashion) schemes to severely ration heath care to any group who did not care enough about America to vote for him.
Did you ever in your wildest dreams believe we could ever have another Harvard lawyer as our president? Obama is resplendent the kindness he has shown us by becoming our president.
In his ineffable quirkiness, in the past year he has developed a fondness for AstroTurf.
And he is damned sick and tired of anyone expecting his friends and cronies to pay taxes. (Cursed pack of whining dogs.)
He has never hated anyone or anything but appreciates how helpful it is for his minions to hate deeply.
He is too busy being good and hopeful to answer questions from reporters. But he can always find a few surrogates to attack reporters who don't agree with him, in case you were wondering why Stephanopoulos was bearing down on you.
Yes, he can always find the resources to attack bad people: the people who doubt and question him. So don't tell him where I live.


Michael J. Bernard said...

not only is he quite possibly LAZY, but a confirmed narcissist--and milking the crisis to propel his agenda of social spending while dragging his feet on actually addressing the financial crisis.


Nicolo Luminos said...

I thought he WANTED this job....he has the energy to jetset all over the country but he can't wake up for a mid-morning press conference and meet and greet?
uh oh....