Friday, February 13, 2009

My Own 'Stimulus' Grant

Find below my grant in the 'stimulus' package. I am expecting approval since I only requested $180,000. Get yours at Patterico.

"(including transfer of funds to Christopher D. Monson for the Christopher D. Monson Personal Economic Stimulus Program)

"For necessary and unnecessary expenses related to the Wireless and Broadband Deployment Grant Programs established by section 6002 of division B of this Act, $2,825,000,000, of which $1,000,000,000 shall be for Wireless Deployment Grants and $1,825,000,000 shall be for Broadband Deployment Grants: Provided, That an additional $180,000 shall be paid directly to Christopher D. Monson in the form of subsidized loans that do not require repayment. Provided Further, That the funds be used by Christopher D. Monson to diverse and thoughtful blogging or for whatever. Provided Even Further, That Christopher D. Monson will receive free the Dodgers tickets for life. Provided Even Further Still, That Christopher D. Monson shall be treated as a cabinet-level appointment for the purpose of income tax reporting, and therefore no taxes shall be paid on any of the aformentioned benefits. And one more thing: Diane Feinstein is hereby expelled from Congress, effective immediately upon enactment"

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