Friday, July 3, 2009

The Good News of Brother Purdom Is Preached To The Chior

Brothers and Sisters I come before you today on a blessed mission. I know the whole choir hates wrong and evil. But do you hate evil sufficiently. Have you kept your hate at the white hotness that our Great Barack needs? I think not! I have felt a great back sliding of hate and contempt. And that sorely grieves me. But I bring great news for wavers. Brother Todd Purdom works for one of the Great Barack’s magazines. And he has brought forth the word on how to perfect your hatred. And if it is not your fervent desire to perfect your hatred of the enemies of The Light of Chicago you don’t belong in the choir. Nay, you should die an ugly lingering death. But rejoice, Brother Todd is here to help the helpless and lead the lost.
If all of you could hate as perfectly as Brother Todd I would worry less about the future of socialism. Brother Todd has reached perfection in his hate of the Great Satan. He knows Sarah Palin for what she is and hates her perfectly to her ugly core. Brother Purdom is not fooled by a pretty face and a sensual body. Brother Todd is a true soldier of the Great Barack and so he hates the evil Sarah unto her evil ovaries. And make no mistake about how evil Sarah’s ovaries are. That great sinner uses her ovaries to deny sustenance to Lord Barack’s much loved and holy abortionists. What makes this uppity sinner imagine she has the right to have five children? This stiff neck sinner has a Down’s baby. Yes, Brothers and Sisters she took the food out of the mouth of an abortionist’s child so she could give birth to this Down’s baby. Some of that money would have gone to Our Revered Brother Barack. But, NO, sinner Sarah just had to have her Down’s baby.
But Brother Todd can help us. We can join in Brother Purdom’s hate to sway the masses. In his perfection Brother Todd is subtle. He wisely hides his hate behind the innuendo and the unnamed source. If you were to just say, “I hate that evil bitch,” you might be honest but it would startle and scare the sheep. And we must have the sheep on our side. If we can trick and wheedle the poison of hate into the sheep every evil plan of that witch Sarah will die. Amen!
If a sheep asks, “Who said that about Sarah?“ Don’t ever give a name. The sheep do not need information. They need the right feeling. They need hate. If The Light of Chicago is going to continue to get his rightful share of union dues we must spread the hate. If the sheep become troublesome, just say, “There have been many, many formal inquiries into ethics violations by Sarah.” It sounds intelligent and informed. Give a slight emphasis to the word ’formal’ The sheep don’t know that it means nothing. The fact they fall so easily for the mere word is proof they are sheep. And sheep need to be lead and you must lead them to truer hate of Sarah. The Massively Great Barack will not thank you in public. But his inner thankfulness should be reward enough for you.
Never forget that her daughter’s ex-boyfriend’s mother pleaded guilty to narcotics charges. Yet this evil Sarah roams our streets freely? I cannot contain my disgust. And her husband’s half-sister has been in jail. And her best friend’s daughter’s former mailman’s niece once had a substitute teacher who was late paying his taxes. Never let the sheep forget this web of evil and sin.
If Sarah is not stopped the union dues will not continue to flow to The Great Barack as His Blessedness deserves. I want to believe in the iron pipe of the union goon. Truly I want to believe. But Brothers and sisters, why leave something this important to chance. We know the dead, the holy and blessed dead will always vote for Our Great Barack. But Dear Brother Barack needs money. And we need the living, yea even the sheep to provide the money. I know that in spite of your wavering you all have the true inner love for Barack. Now our Great Leader needs you to prove your love to him. For the sake of Great Barack you must spread the hate and sway the sheep. If you just get your hearts right and let Brother Purdom teach you perfection in hate the Great Barack will not need to waste his time in fear and worry. The Great Barack will not need to fear a quarterly decline of the union dues, the coldness of the lobbyists or the laughter and lies of Helen Thomas and Jake Tapper.
Brothers and Sisters, remember that, “Everyone hates Sarah.” If you continue to repeat that your sheep will soon believe it. It will help if you make a face of exasperation once and a while as you remind your sheep how hated Sarah is. They respond better to gentle nudges than to quick moves. Listen to me, Brothers because I had to study human psychology while I was an organizer and while training for this ministry.
Brothers and Sisters this is probably as much as you can absorb now. But we will meet again. There will be more lessons on how to teach the sheep to more perfectly hate the evil Sarah. When the Huffington Post or the Los Angeles Times or the Washington Post or CBS or Keith Olbermann or Peggy Noonan next sandbag that great sinner, Sarah, we will gather and see what we can learn about perfecting our hate and subtly passing it on to the sheep.

No comments: