Senator Loses Custody of Children Because of Widespread Ethical Lapses in the Chamber

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Pocomoke City, MD – In a unusual turn of events a sitting US senator was denied custody of his own children in a long running divorce battle today. Junior Maryland Senator Ronnie Joe Ghibelline is to be allowed contact with his children only under the supervision and in the presence of his former wife. Senator Ghibelline’s attorney stated that, “It is ridiculous that someone as responsible as a sitting US senator should receive treatment similar to what would be appropriate for a criminal.”
Lydia Ghibelline’s attorney, Floyd Matusaki praised the judge’s independence and courage in doing what is best for the children. Early on in the battle Ms. Ghibelline had been quoted as saying, “A parent is especially responsible for the moral guidance and development of her children. There is no way that a member of the present congress can be expected to provide anything but a bad example to his children. For the sake of their futures I have to exercise some oversight over my children’s interactions with their father. I became especially concerned as more and more members of Congress not only sell their votes but publically brag about how much they receive for their moral failure. Also my husband has been known to spend time in the company of George Clooney. Now Mr. Clooney has been very successful for an Irishman but some of his values are not what I want for my kids. The fact that he is so prone to follow fads rather than having an inner set of core values makes him just the kind of person I would never want my children to emulate.”
The unusual and often entertaining nature of the trial has left many locals curious as to why it has received absolutely no coverage from network news programs and large daily newspapers. Locals have grown tired of the frequent observation by members of the Worcester County Republican committee that the story would get plenty of coverage if the senator was a Republican.
On the first day of the trial the judge, Marvin Krepkie, cautioned the father, Senator Ghibelline to only speak when spoken to. The senator replied, “Why don’t you go piss up a rope?” This had lead to the senator being sentenced to 24 hours in jail for contempt of court. Senator Ghibelline spent only two hours in jail before Harry Reid scheduled an evening vote on a hastily written bill to ensure that at least 18% of all Post-it notes used in federal offices must come from minority owned businesses. US Constitutional provisions required the release from jail of the senator so that he could vote on the legislation. The next day the judge expressed mild outrage that his authority had been flouted with what he called “procedural trickery.” Judge Krepkie ordered that the senator spend the following Sunday in jail.
Senator Diane Feinstein of the Senate Ethics Committee was a frequent target of Lydia Ghibelline’s legal team. It was noted more than once that Senator Feinstein had grown from mere millionaire to multimillionaire with major infusions of federal money by means of a subcommittee that she was chairman of giving enormous no bid contracts to one of Feinstein’s husband’s companies. Floyd Matusaki had said, “This bald and immoral transfer of cash from the taxpayers into Diane Feinstein’s pocket that was personally carried out by the Senator herself was a slap in the face of American citizens. And the senate’s contempt for basic ethics, fair play and the voters was seriously exacerbated by this blatantly unethical woman being put on the body’s so called ethics committee. This was the Senate spitting in the face of real ethics. By allowing the original crime and then putting the criminal on the committee that was supposedly designed to identify and punish such behavior, the Senate has made a defining statement about their stand on ethics. They will do whatever they can to ignore or escape ethics. Mrs. Ghibelline is against such behavior in those who lead us. She can do little to change this beyond voting responsibly and being as politically active as she can. But my client has a vital interest in protecting her children from anything that might influence her children into becoming this selfish and predatory. She feels that motherhood gives her a sacred duty to do everything she can to give her charges proper ethical guidance and understanding. She has been unable to convince her ex-husband to take a public stand against the forces slowly destroying Washington, DC. He has refused to do so, Mrs. Ghibelline has accepted that but still wants her husband to teach his own children why this behavior is wrong. Since he will not comply with this simple request that my client feels is a fair compromise, she feels she cannot allow Senator Ronnie Joe Ghibelline unmonitored access to these impressionable children. That is all we ask, your Honor. We ask you to help us in spreading the respect for law and order that institutions such as this court depend upon.“